i think thats what i fuckin hate to the core balls.. being taken for granted. whole of yesterday while in camp doin fuck all during duty i was reflecting for a bit (and scheming) but mostly just chillin the fuck out la

then today on the way home i decided, thats it i need a perfume

so this was before lunch. i rang a few ppl up see if they free la.. the ppl i called in order were gabriel jenna and then wx. wx picked up and he agreed to go town with me but he preferred to go in the evenin so he could book in after that

i saw jenna online later so i told her, "hey i called just now and wanted to ask u out" - i mean jesus i was gonna add on "but its ok made other plans alr blah blah" after she replied BUT she was like "no cant go out exams comin gonna stay home"

since i was watching madagascar2 i didnt know how quick she replied but im sure within 10mins i checked the msg log again and she had typed all of that and signed off

so i smsed her telling her "wah u sign off so fast. pick up the phone" cos she wasnt pickin up the phone. no reply. so i didnt call but i was quite pissed

i dont get it, when she calls i pick up. when she needs help with something, i still try to give a hand (albeit laced with sarcasm).. was i being made use of?

i tried to piece my previous relationship. i felt i had been made use of

then i compared and contrast, compared and contrast, fell asleep, went for 2.4km run, then when i was on the train towards town to meet wx, i finally got it!

i was *STILL* pissed at melissa because i felt she had taken my feelings for granted.

i was getting pissed off with jenna because i felt she was "using" me whenever she felt like it; hence taking me for granted

i realized why i fell out with my some ppl i used to hang out with, and there you go, they took me for granted

so this was on the way there. i got myself a Davidoff echo and i guess i hope to finish it before i head to europe so thats roughly about 10months? *shrugs*

on the way back, i tried to ask myself (to make sure i wasn't being a hypocrite) this question: do i take people for granted?

my uncle that lives with me, sometimes, i feel i take him for granted. i feel guilty cos he has great ways of pissing me off but its not really things i take to heart and neither does he. overall, i dont think i take him for granted because when i look in the future, i see him in it. i aint leavin him behind

when ppl msg me i make it a point to msg back. like u know when u write on somebody's wall on facebook or back then, friendster... you'd expect the person to write back but alot don't. why do they take such things for granted? i dont understand... it's just a small gesture

i think there's an extent to it man. its like for example........... daniel. we're friends and all and sometimes we dont contact each other. does that mean we take each other for granted? no. because eventually we will

then there are others where after ages, nobody contacts each other and then they forget each other but when they see each other its like "hey man how's it going?!"

its so fake man , its waaayyyy too fake..

but what if.... the reason why they never bothered was because they thought you were a cunt?

i guess its good we're apart because when we weren't apart nobody bothered to voice it out and then again, its more convenient to just shake the fucker off

sigh. thank fuck for 3day week :)

however, that's gonna make me broke as fuck....

well, one thing i dont do for sure is take my finances for granted cos im a cheap ass bastard :P